Older women dating younger men success stories
Noah Brand, 35, said recently he has preferred dating older women after several relationships with younger women "melted down in drama storms." With older women, "you get less drama, better communication," he said."It's nice to be dating someone who is on equal footing as you or even knows more than you, has been places you haven't," said Brand, who lives in Portland, Ore., and is the editor in chief of The Good Men Project, a social movement that explores modern manhood.
Brand dated a woman 19 years older for several months, when he was 32 and she was 51, and said comparing different generational touchstones made it interesting.
"At that time, if the guy was younger, you were considered a pervert."Brings now gravitates toward younger men — the largest disparity was when she was 50 and dating a 25-year-old — because she finds she connects with them better and, frankly, men her own age aren't as interested in her."When I was in my 40s, I realized I had become invisible to men of my own generation," said Brings, co-author of "Older Women, Younger Men: New Options for Love and Romance" (New Horizon Press).
She noticed younger men, often raised by feminist women, were intrigued by and admiring of her success and experience, whereas older men seemed threatened and expected women to play traditional roles.
'" said Charlie Capen, right, now 31 and married to Avara, 39, left, for eight years. (Handout/Family photo) When he moved to Los Angeles, Charlie Capen, 20 at the time, could have joined his friends hitting the clubs.Charlie Capen said he and his wife have a gallows humor about that, riffing off the fact that women on average live four years longer than men."Now we're more on even ground," he said.Braving "robbing the cradle" jokes, almost one-third of women between ages 40 and 69 are dating younger men (defined as 10 or more years younger).Women bear the brunt of the criticism regardless of whether they're on the younger or older side of the spectrum, with the cougar or gold digger labels reflecting a deeply rooted sexism that judges women's sexual activities far more often than men's are judged, said Lehmiller, who teaches at Harvard University.Given that social marginalization hurts a relationship's success, as Lehmiller's research also has found, large age gap relationships may struggle more than same-age relationships, he said.